I Have Everything I’ve Ever Dreamed Of - Why Am I Not Happy?

You don’t need a degree in counseling to know when you’re off-track, but sometimes it creeps up on you. It can seem like you wake up one day and realize that things are not right. These are a few of the signs:

•           You don’t want to get out of bed.

•           You have a hard time motivating yourself to do routine tasks.

•           You have doubts about yourself.

•           You feel mildly depressed for days at a time.

•           You sometimes overeat and/or use alcohol and drugs to feel better or escape.

•           You often feel chronically tired, de-energized, and listless.

•           You worry about how you will keep things together.

•           You feel bored or restless.

•           You wish you were somewhere else.

•           You often have headaches, stomach upset, and other body aches and pains.

•           You sleep too little or too much.

•           You have frequent bad dreams or nightmares.

•           You oversleep.

•           You complain and nag.

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Feeling dissatisfied with your life is not a pleasant experience, but it can lead you in a positive direction. These feelings may be important because they are telling you that your actions are out of sync with your values, goals, or talents. When we live a life we value, we are happier, content and feel more hopeful.

 

 

In therapy, we often look at clarifying values and how to incorporate more of them into your daily life. Try this questionnaire to rediscover what's important to you:

Imagine that your life is handed back to you and you are able to do anything you want. What is important to you? What values will direct you? Consider each word on the following list individually. It is not necessary to force-rank them or compare them against each other. Assign a rating to each word:

1 = Critically important to me

2 = Important to me

3 = I can live without it

            Acceptance by others

            Accomplishment

            Activity

            Admiration

            Appreciation

            Authority

            Beauty

            Being liked

            Being well-paid

            Calm

            Casualness

            Certainty

            Challenge

            Choice

            Comfort

            Community service

            Competition

            Creativity

            Enjoyment

            Ethics

            Excellence

            Excitement

            Fame

            Financial security

            Fitness

            Flexibility

            Fortune

            Freedom

            Fulfilling my potential

            Fun

            Growth

            Harmony

            Health

            Helping others

            Honesty

            Independence

            Informality

            Leisure

            Making a difference

            Mastery

            Morality

            Nature

            Novelty

            Originality

            Peace

            Personal development

            Pets

            Pleasure

            Popularity

            Power

            Prestige

            Privacy

            Prosperity

            Quality

            Recognition

            Relaxation

            Respect

            Risk

            Solitude

            Spirituality

            Stability

            Status

            Stimulation

            Surprise

            Time for friends

            Time for my family

            Uniqueness

            Variety

            Wealth

            Wisdom

Now make a list that summarizes your most important values. If you think of something that isn’t listed, feel free to add it.

The final part of this process (and this is a very streamlined version of what is possible) is to compare how you are currently spending your time with your list of most important values. How well do they match each other? What clues can you find that will help you find more satisfaction in your life?

Make a list of:

  • Things that don’t match
  • What you can do about it

If you need help with this, it's part of what we do, and we're happy to help. Counseling can help zero in on your values, something we can lose sight of as we get tangled up in our daily lives. Please reach out to us if you'd like to start making a change - that's why we do what we do!

All our very best, Kevin and Beth

P.S. - You may also like the book: Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven C. Hayes. (We are not affiliated, it's just a good book!)