Healing Your Inner Child

There is a lot of talk lately about healing your inner child. It's usually followed by the question, "HOW do you heal your inner child?" This is a subject that a lot of people ask about in counseling. Some wanting to use their counseling experience to venture back in time and others, not so much.

Aside from counseling, there are ways you can help yourself heal your inner child.

So, let's start from the beginning. Just like you. You started as this little person. This incredible blank slate with all the wonder and love a child's heart can hold. And, then life happened, and even in the most "perfect" households children have their own experiences, their own interpretations and their own ways of coping and dealing with and assimilating life. No matter what you do to protect them. What may be a relatively simple occurrence for one child, no more than a quickly forgotten blip on the screen, may be a totally different experience for another child. That is because of, and the beauty of,  us being individuals....each of us processing, assimilating, learning, feeling all these wildly different ways in life. It is what makes you - you. And me- me. As wonderful as learning and growing and assimilating and tasting life can be, it is not without its lessons, its bumps, its mountains, its really really really hard parts!

Those experiences, all of them, stay with us. They don't leave us. They are always there, whispering to us, "Look before you cross the street",  "Don't take that candy from that stranger", "Remember that time Timmy's cat scratched your eye?" Some of that comes from our parents, our teachers, our siblings, our friends, our own experience. But it is all still there!

The good news is isn't that wonderful??? That we can carry that with us? The bad news is isn't that painful? That we can carry that with us? And this is where the healing your inner child part comes in.

So, what do you do for the Little You that is inside there that you carry with you wherever you go? The one who is scared, or mad, or frustrated, or uncertain. How do you help the Little You recover from this thing called life? How can you heal your inner child?

There are tons of books, articles and resources coming out more and more about healing your inner child every day. And I urge you to see what fits well for you. But these are my suggestions as a starting point:

  1. PLAY! That's right! When was the last time you played? I mean just let loose, let the imagination go, dived into the fantasy world and played until you were exhausted with joy?

  2. ) CREATE! Remember those little construction paper thingies you brought home from school? The drawings that were maybe hung on the refrigerator? The popsicle sticks you glued together and the glue got stuck between your fingers? The meal you made out of mud but knew better than to eat (I hope)! Go make something! Who cares if it won't end up in a museum??? And you know what, hang that glorious thing on the refrigerator for everyone to see!

  3. ) GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR! Yes, go look in the mirror right now and look yourself in the eye and say, "Little Me, I know you are in there, and you know what? I love you. I love you more than anyone else in this whole wide world. You know what, Little Me? I am going to make sure we are always alright! Because you are WORTH IT!")

  4. ) SING! DANCE! HUM! When was the last time you sang a silly song? Try it. Make up your own words. Just sing it! Dance to your own tune as you hum along. And hum something silly too!

  5. ) HAVE A SIT DOWN! Now this is where it gets a little bit deeper. But I know you can do it! Find a quiet time and sit in a chair. Put another chair near you, or choose a spot with more than one chair. Get comfortable and close your eyes. Take some deep cleansing breaths and just relax. Now open your eyes. Look at the other chair. Imagine Little You sitting in that chair. Ask Little You, "How are you?". "Is there anything you need?". "How can I help?" And listen to that Little You voice inside your head. If Little You is hurting, do you need a hug? Do you need to be told everything is OK, or safe, or that you are loved and so very precious? Yes, have a heart -to -heart talk with Little You as if Little You was, in fact, a child sitting there telling you this story. Let the child be the guide as to what is needed and then you, as the adult, do THAT. Spend time with this child. Heed this child. Love this child.

Healing your inner child is really all about listening to that child. Loving that child and embracing him or her completely, totally, unconditionally....as only you can.

Need more help? Please call us. This is why we do what we do!